SURI MAKES IT TO 1
April 18, 2007, 7:15 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

As miracle baby Suri Cruise celebrates her first bithday today amid the usual mystery — no details have been leaked as to party plans, though it is expected to be held in Shreveport, Louisiana, where Mom is lensing ‘Mad Money’Katie Holmes has swapped publicists, retaining heavy hitter Ina Treciokas as her new mouthpiece.

“It’s part of a plan to normalize the PR, to get it back to what it was before Tom freaked out,” a source tells the New York Daily News. “They realize the problems all began when Tom hired his Scientologist sister to run the show.”

This replaces the previous theory that the problems began when Xenu stacked aliens inside volcanoes.

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16 Comments so far
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still ugly

Comment by Fugly baby

‘the problems began when his sister took over’. Wow. Does NO ONE in hollywood take responsibility for their fucked up actions? I suppose TC could go to ‘rehab’ but I guess I am being glib.

Comment by yeahso?

wtf is LENSING?

Comment by Shannon

I love Suri! She’s a doll baby and so cute.

Comment by Trinidad

THE POWER OR XENU COMPELLS YOU!!!!

Comment by theonly1withoutherpes

Yeah So? has it right…everybody blame some else! Yahoo! Isn’t that fun? It’s not that Tom is a scheming, evil jackass…it’s his SISTERS fault!!! Sorry pal, not going to any of your movies no matter WHO you hire…it’s still TC!

Comment by lola lola

lola – i feel the same way. i refuse to see any movie with tom cruise in it. won’t give him 1 red cent. i still can’t believe brooke shields went to his wedding – it was a slap in the face to all women who have suffered from ppd.

Comment by dottcomm1

She is an ugly kid, I’m sorry but she does not compare to the other little Hollywood cuties that’s for sure. Sorry Tom and Kate, better luck next time.

Comment by Linda

I still stand with my theory that Suri is older than one year old and that the last three months or so of Katie’s pregnancy were fake and that she had already had Suri. And taking the theory even further….I think Katie was pregnant with Chris Klien’s baby before she met Tom. I mean it may say crazy but theres a lot of evidence that points to this. They kept the baby hidden, her baby bump looked ridiculous, there was something weird with the birth certificate…maybe I’ve been watching too many of hollywood’s best kept secrets but think about it!

Comment by Stephi

^ ^ i know its crazy but i agree. i love conspiracy theories!

however there’s no way you can tell her age down to three months now. remember how they hid her away for months after she was born. THAT was the time when you could tell her age more realistically. weird family.

Comment by SAS

Tom’s sister’s fault. Riiiight. She must have said “Just be yourself, Tom”. Big mistake.

Comment by Randi

Whoever says that Suri is ugly is just straight up hating on her because of her weird parents. I’m not ashmamed to say:

Suri is the cuteness.

And Stephi…I agree w/ the ehole theory except that I doubt it’s Chris K.’s baby. The rest theough, I could see…..

Comment by Michele

I agree with the Suri was born in January or February theory

Comment by parissucksliterally

Gees, all Tom did was state his opinion. That comes under free speech, remember. There wasn’t a law that passed that said we have to follow Tom Cruise’s medical advice. I don’t agree with what he said at all, but the man is entitled to an opinion even if it is the wrong one.

Comment by audrey

I love conspiracy theories more than anyone here, but i just don’t belive the suri one! she has blue eyes, tom has blue eyes, both katie and chris have brown eyes, and it’s be pretty tough to get blue eyed baby with two brown eyed parents (blue is the recessive gene, each parent gives one gene, so she’d had to get both blue recessive genes from each parent)

Comment by lolly

…no…..lookied several times…she us not that cute..I have seen cuter….Violet Aflek is cute…this mishmash of a DEDEDE well she is a DEDEDE!!!!

Comment by toonkinstein




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